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At some point in any classy lady’s journey, she will embark on a road trip. These trips bring out the philosopher in all of us, and allow us to reflect on life’s biggest mysteries. Whether this trip is 3 hours or 3 weeks, important questions arise. While some of these questions allow for noble, poignant discussions about our purpose here on this planet, others quickly spiral for the better into pure entertainment by the two authors of this blog:

Hook-up or Marry

  1. Thor, or Captain America?
    1. Queen Classy: Hook-up with Thor, marry Captain America
    2. Princess Beast: Hook-up with Thor, marry Captain America
  2. Legolas, or Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor?
    1. Queen Classy: Hook-up with Legolas and get it out of the way. His flowing locks would just piss me off and he would only have a little fairy dirt hut. Like he would always complain his hair was stuck under me or something and tit’d clog the drain…oh wait, there is no drain, because WE’RE IN A HUT. At least Ben is a pilot and we’d live in Hawaii.
    2. Princess Beast: I would hook up with Ben Affleck and marry Legolas. Legolas would always flit away on his adventures so I could hook-up with Channing Tatum on the side. I think Ben’s character is kinda whiny and would just smother everything.
  3. Legolas, or Captain Jack Sparrow?
    1. Queen Classy: Noooo…in this one I’d marry Legolas, because at least he’d be SOBER when he flits off on his adventures. Captain Jack and his goddamn accessories. How many effing bracelets do you need???
    2. Princess Beast: Hook-up with Legolas and marry Captain Jack. I think he would expect and encourage me to cheat :  “Hi hon, how was Tortuga?” “Oh, it was fun love, how was Channing Tatum?”

Who would you rather be stranded on a desert island with for 1 year?

  1. Legolas, or Captain Jack Sparrow?
    1. Queen Classy: Legolas. Cpatain Jack would be effing useless and would find sticks yes, but he would just fashion more bracelets out of them.
    2. Princess Beast: Captain Jack. History has shown he is extremely lucky and knows where the rum is. Legolas would burn up in the tropical sun.
  2. Farva from Super Troopers or Terry from Reno 911?
    1. Queen Classy: Farva…if I turned to cannibalism there would be more for me to survive on.
    2. Princess Beast: Terry. His roller skates would make him immobile so he couldn’t eff things up.

Who would you rather take on a road trip?

  1. Legolas or Captain Jack Sparrow?
    1. Queen Classy: Legolas…I’d have to keep chasing Captain Jack to get back in the car and away from the Bar Flies, and he’d end up getting us lost. It would be like dealing with a little kid…”Captain Jack get back in the car NOW!”
    2. Princess Beast: Captain Jack…with any luck you could get him drunk and he would just sleep in the car. Legolas would get pissy his bow was in the trunk and wouldn’t understand the point of the trip…”What quest is this?” “No, Legolas, the journey is the quest.” “I don’t understand. Are we there yet?” “No, dude, the trip is the quest, yah we have an end point, but that’s not relevant to the trip as a whole.” “Oh…are we there yet?” “NO! We’re not effing there yet!”

 

Have an opinion on who YOU would rather be stranded with? Vote Below!

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